Musical Memories

Anyone who knows me has some idea of the importance music plays in my life. I couldn't even begin to describe in words the place music holds in my life (so why am I blogging...? right, I'm getting there.) The truth of it is, there have been times in my life when music was really all I needed to help get me through. Music has such a powerful ability to instill creativity, fuel revolutions, express empathy and make everyone dance. While one song could help heal your broken heart, another will force you feel the weight of the world and the pain of losing someone so important.

I realize not everyone is this intense about music. I know a lot of people who don't even know all the words to their favorite songs. But even if you don't have an intricate knowledge of music and are not musically inclined at all - I can almost gurantee that there are songs that have the ability to transport you back to a certain place and time in your life.

For me, this is an intensely powerful force music has over me. It is comparable to stepping outside on a bitterly cold day and feeling that gust of wind almost knock the air clear out of your lungs. Or the shock you feel when you jump into a pool and your body first slices through the surface of the water. Or the quickening of your heart beat when you first realize you are in love. Some songs have the most insane ability to literally make me feel exactly how I felt at a certain moment in my past. The memory of that time becomes so vivid in my brain, not just as pictures, but as emotions, as colors, as sounds....the sense of touch and smell.....it is as forceful as a sudden jolt of deja vu, stronger even, because it is not just a sense that I have been there, but the reminder of somewhere I was, somewhere I will never be again.

As my iTunes shuffles through the 1000 + songs on my playlist, I find myself having to skip many of the songs, as they remind me of painful past memories....or wonderful past memories that ended in pain. Or memories where I was so incredibly elated with my life that just remembering it brings tears to my eyes and slowness to my breath.

How music gained this much control over me, I will never know. But as I sit here and listen to one of the first songs that ever made me think of the love of my life....I am overwhelmed. And somewhat relieved that I still am able to feel so powerful just through thought.