Wednesday, April 4

The post in which I recount my road trip.....or, I hate Connecticut.

I've been on hiatus for a few days. I apologize. Things are a little hectic on the home front.

Also, I took an impromptu road trip on Sunday and just got back late, late last night. It was completely last minute - completely not my style, but worked out nonetheless. Though it was a spontaneous event, I did manage to sneak in some of my innate planning (checking the weather) that I was made fun of for during the trip.

Here is a recap:

Sunday

12:27 PM : Leave house and embark on 25 minute drive to the highway. [ah, the joys of living in sticksville, usa.]

12:49 PM: Stop to get gas, only to realize that debit card and license are in fact back home in the pocket of the pants worn to the bar the previous night. WTF

1:16 PM: License. Check. Money. Check. Good to go.

1:25 PM: Welcome to Connecticut. Booooo [And so begins the worst part of the trip]

2:50 PM: WHEN DOES THIS STATE END?

2:55 PM: Need. Coffee. Now.

2:57 PM: Woman making coffee appears very confused when I ask for extra cream. She gives me no cream. Ask again. She glares at me and pours in cream. Upon tasting coffee, I gag as coffee tastes like an ass-y shoe.

3:21 PM: Why do I feel like I'm riding on a mechanical bull? Connecticut is dirty. And the pot holes. My GOD THE POT HOLES.

3:40 PM: Welcome to New York. Someone get me a hard roll. HOOOOOOORAY!

4:12 PM: Welcome to New Jersey. What the hell is that smell?

4:48 PM: Notice girl behind me holding her own version of a Makeover Story while driving. Sweetheart, your hair couldn't get any bigger. And if you rear end me while applying lip liner, I will punch you in and around the throat area.

5:45 PM: Not a fan of New Jersey. LOVE the NJ Turnpike. Straight, no traffic, great rest stops that have wonderful, magnificent Starbucks coffee and people to pump my gas because IT'S THE LAW.

6:00 PM: If part of the Delaware Bridge is under construction, should we really be driving on it? it's not like a road - there is WATER underneath us. anyone else uneasy about this?

6:10 PM: Hi Maryland. I missed you.

7:10 PM: Why am I driving like I'm in a Nascar race through the Fort McHenry Tunnel? Slow down Daigneault. Too much damn Redbull. (Don't worry Mom. I drive slow most of the time)

7:35 PM: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's the Disney Cinderella Castle! Nope, it's the Mormon Temple. There is something wrong with those people.

7:45 PM: WHY DOES EVERYONE ON THE LOCAL SIDE OF 270 DRIVE SO DAMN SLOW???

7:52 PM: Exit 6B, how I love your face.

7:59 PM: FALLSGROVE! YAY! My favorite girls :)

The end.

Stayed tuned for Part II, the drive home: Better known as Traffic makes me whinnnnyyyy.

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