Thursday, January 25

I'm thinking about becoming a chipmunk

Here is the thing. I have a strong disdain for winter. More specifically, any time of year when the temperature drops below 50 degrees. You would think I grew up in a warm climate, a place where the sun shone brightly for more than three quarters of the year and going to the beach in December was completely normal.

But I did not. I grew up in the snowy cold winters of New England. People in New England like to say, If you don't like the weather, wait a minute. Which I suppose is valid....the weather here does change often. But for the most part, winter is cold. You have to dress in layers and pray to god that your extremities have enough blood flowing to them so as to prevent any type of frostbite. It's just unnatural for it to be that cold. More precisely, it is unnatural to venture outside when it is that cold.

I know I just sound bitter about the winter - but hear me out. All of nature (well, most of nature) hides in the winter time. Birds fly south, fish in small bodies of water swim the bottom of the water where it is warmer and stay still under the frozen ice, bears and other woodland/foresty type creatures store up food all year round until the temperature drops and then they hibernate. Simply, they sleep.

This is why, I've decided, I'd like to become a chipmunk. Why you ask? Chipmunks are cute little woodland animals, but more importantly, they store up food in their cheeks. How ingenius is that? They store up their food and then for the most part, they live in trees and sleep all winter.

Ok, so maybe that's not exactly what happens. In my head, that's what hibernation means. But then again, I am not an animal expert. I do know that walking outside in the winter makes me angry. Not at anything in particular, just at the air for making my lips chapped, my skin dry and my hands feel frozen 24/7. This is why I'd like to transform myself into a hibernating animal.

Then I wouldn't have to get up and venture outside for things like class or work, you know - "important" things. ;) I also wouldn't feel obligated to work out or be productive. I could just gorge myself on all kinds of yummy, filling foods and then fall asleep. When I wake up, it will be warm again and I can stop feeling like a grumpy ass bear and start feeling like a normal, functioning individual whose body temperature doesn't feel like it's nearing 90 degrees.

This is chipmunk, signing off. Tomorrow is supposed to be 16 degrees in this area. god speed.

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