Wednesday, January 31

Accident Prone

My parents have said many times that they should purchase an ambulance as our family vehicle since our family is extremely accident/sickness prone.

I am no exception to this wonderful family trait. I am a klutz, injury myself in bizarre ways and have a wimpy immune system. I have been in the hospital for such things as : almost slicing my thumb off by opening a soup can, dislocating my knee cap while doing layups at basketball practice, and getting a concussion after passing out after being bitten by a dog. Not even cool injuries....not from heroic efforts, not from intense, extreme sports. Just basic activities. I have considered buying a bubble to live in, but that's just not a convenient way to live. So I just suck it up, try to be as careful as possible, and pray that my next visit to the emergency room isn't because I lost in a battle to a non-perishable food item.

That being said, I am going snowboarding this weekend. Before I get into this, let me just tell you that I have attempted a winter sport before. I have skiied a few times, injuring myself every. single. time. I had fun skiing, before I sprained my wrist/disclocated my knee. But I'm just not terribly coordinated. It's an unfortunate truth that I must face if I ever want to be able to laugh at how ABSURD my track record of getting hurt is.

So snowboarding. Why, you might ask? Well, I think it will probably be fun....and hopefully not too painful. Truthfully, my sort of girlfriend (?) is the reason I am going. She loves to snowboard and doesn't get to go nearly as often as she would like. The winter hasn't really provided wonderful conditions for snowboarding either. So of course I was excited about booking a trip up to Vermont to snowboard. I figure she's going to make me try it eventually, and escaping for a weekend away with her is hard to pass up.

Here's what I'm really concerned about. Breaking my ass. You might laugh, but from what I've heard, your ass takes quite a beating. And if ANYONE is going to break their ass, it's going to be me. I certainly don't want to show up at work next week with one of those ridiculous donuts to sit on. I will never hear the end of it - my coworkers, while hysterical, are merciless when it comes to these things.

Well, wish me luck. If you don't hear from me for a while, you can assume I am in a hospital up in the mountains in a full body cast. I promise to write once they cut me out.

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